Next week will be my last week as a working mom. Let me rephrase that to be politically correct. Next week will be my last week as a mom who works outside the home. 🙂
For those of you who know me well, and even those who have known me as I grew up, get your chin off the floor. Yeah, I know. When I started feeling the tug in my heart about two years ago that I needed to be a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), my response back to God was, “Me? Are you crazy?”
I’m the mom, who when pregnant with my firstborn, was afraid I’d want to stay home I got a taste of motherhood. Instead, I went back to work early because I was going into a depression.
But my heart started changing after my daughter was born. I started feeling different. I really struggled with my feelings because I never thought I was cut out to be a stay at home mom. Yet I felt like God was telling me something. So I prayed that if this was what I was supposed to do then he would get my husband on the same page.
Eventually, he did.
And over the last year or so we have been working hard to pay off our vehicles and his student loan so we could afford for me to quit my very good and enjoyable job.
Do you remember when I started this blog? Do you remember when I was diligent at posting the grocery deals I was getting? When I talked about saving money little by little? Do you remember wondering what in the world I was doing any why in the world would I want to waste my time pinching pennies?
This was why. Of course I couldn’t share it because I was still employed and planned to be for another year or so. But if you’ll go back and look at my “About” page, you’ll see it. I felt that even though our income did not require us to pinch pennies in groceries at the moment (that was something we could do when it was necessary), God wanted me to be faithful in little so I would be put in charge of much.
Faithful in little to me meant faithful in what seemed like so little for two incomes, but that which would be much for one.
As I worked very hard to be faithful in this little, Matt’s heart changed and he started believing I needed to be home as well. He worked overtime and an out of state outage to help us pay down what we needed to.
We didn’t really know the timing. I knew it would be sometime in early 2013, but I was just waiting on Matt to give me the go-ahead.
The timing, however, proved how faithful my God is.
In November, my mom was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Although Drew is in kindergarten and Alyssa is kept by my friend Kim and goes to Mother’s Day Out, Mom picks both of them up every day. She and my dad are an everyday presence in their lives. Her cancer diagnosis brought a lot of questions, most notably, what would we do if Mom’s treatments caused her to be too sick to take care of the kids in the afternoons? How would the kids handle seeing her if she got sick?
Matt looked at our finances, and amazingly we could pay the last debt off – his student loan – so I could stay home. I could not only do what I’d been working toward, but I could also be there when my mom needed me. I could take the childcare burden off her shoulders and she could enjoy the kids out of desire more than necessity.
I have no doubt that God had this all in mind when he started pricking my heart to stay home with my children two years ago. He had this very moment in mind. Taking care of us. Leading us.
Assuring me that during this very scary time in my life watching my mom battle an incurable cancer, that since he took care of all these details before we ever knew about them, he’d be there with us as we walk this difficult road.
This time next week I will be walking into a whole new unfamiliar world. You might notice me blogging about my journey. You can laugh along with me (I’m working on a SAHM 101 folder for organization), you can sympathize with me as I struggle with a lack of adult conversation, and above all, you can pray for me.
I have a feeling I’ve gotten on the world’s largest roller coasters and I’m in for one wild, unpredictable ride.